As such, wisdom enables us to navigate our future with innocence and grace. 

Wisdom is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as the “quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment.” It is the “quality of being wise.” As such, experience and knowledge may add a form of wisdom towards one’s repertoire of life. However the quality of the experience along with good judgment is subjective to one’s comprehension of one’s innocence (here I define innocence as the pure and perfect beingness that God imbued into everything that He created). Understanding innocence is wisdom. Questioning wisdom is wisdom.

The experience that turns to wisdom is found in the individual moments of our days. Each day is absorbed into us for a purpose. Each day either feeds or cankers the innocence within our soul. Every day is a social experience within one’s world, and those social experiences are the seeds of wisdom. Each and every moment is presented to us in order to gain a database of information, experience and direction at different times in our life. 

Allow the Marriage of Wisdom, Past and Present

Marriage is an excellent metaphor for understanding wisdom. Interestingly, it also naturally segues into the experience of marriage between two people. Marrying requires wisdom, but we don’t always have it because we have no experience. We may not have good examples of good relationships, playing house as children but just to the effect of repeating what we’ve seen. This can get translated into our marriages later in life. 

Remarrying after a divorce requires wisdom, too, and it also requires forgiveness. Your spouse and you together failed to frame your relationship in innocence, resulting in its demise. You must forgive yourself and your former spouse of the failed relationship. Then you must begin the next relationship by reframing the past relationship in innocence. Relationships thrive where innocence abounds.

Overriding many sensitive feelings of nature within yourself is vital. If you do not, you may find yourself with a different person but in the same relationship, repeating the same outcome (i.e. the definition of insanity).

Wisdom balances the innocence of passion. There is the innocence of passion, but then there is the ignorance of acting on that passion without wisdom. When we act in ignorance rather than wisdom we repeat past patterns. Initially our actions may stem from the innocence of passion, but without the application of wisdom the result is always ignorance. Ignorance creates heartache and brings the proverbial wolf into the relationship, to the ultimate demise of that relationship and another strike against the heart. Making the decision to pair with a better outcome requires homework–wisdom homework. 

This is where it becomes beneficial to explore The Wolf Cycle, my upcoming book. When you know your builder type, i.e. the straw, the stick, or the brick personality and your prospective spouse’s type, you are both empowered to understand one another as it plays out in your actions, perceptions, and thoughts. This is understanding the core of one another’s innocence, and it ensures a happy, long-lasting relationship. Find the book here: https://www.robertbautner.com/wolf-cycle/. 

Regardless of what kind of relationship you’re in, it’s important to note that you can’t make an informed decision without understanding the core of innocence within yourself. If you don’t understand one another’s innocence, you allow the wolves to run rampant in the relationship, trampling the little pigs in their wake.

Invite A Fly on The Wall Who Tells All

Introducing a fly on the wall creates a realm in which wisdom thrives. The wisdom of the fly’s perspective enables you to operate within the boundaries of agency and innocence. It is this combination of agency and innocence that you need most for a mutually beneficial relationship. Therefore it is vitally important to take full advantage of wisdom before venturing into marriage or any relationship under false innocence (the natural man).

This is why it is wise to introduce a prospective spouse or partner to a third party. The neutral perspective of the third person helps separate the mesmerizing innocence of your passion from the wise innocence of the relationship. It can be even more beneficial when that fly, which is that third party, is an empath because they have the gift of naturally feeling the heart. I recently met somebody who has this empathic gift. I learned this from my friend Camila. Camila accepts her innocence as an empath. Her husband Bridger confirmed this gift to me. Camila feels a heart ridden with pain, happiness, honesty or truth. People with this gift used in innocence can be the fly on the wall who adds innocent perspective to any situation.

As such, it is wise to introduce your future spouse to an empathic third party. This is where the fly on the wall is the genius of wisdom and benefits you in real time. I’m not talking about introducing your future spouse or partner to just anybody. Having an empathic connection to God is necessary to being an innocent third party, that helpful fly on the wall. But it is not connection with just any God…it is God the Eternal Father. 

This is the right third party if he or she can remain in innocence as the fly on the wall, using his/her empathic gift for the bettering of humanity and relationships. This is the type of person who can give more information than you would pick up otherwise.