Roses Blooming, Andy Griffith, and How My Autistic Brain See it All
Growing up in the 1960s and 70s, sitting in front of a Curtis Mathes brand television set, a marriage of TV shows entertained, influenced, and shaped my thinking.
By Robert Bautner
The Wiring in My Brain
The characters and their stories became a part of my life’s journey. Different shows added bits and pieces to the structure of my thinking as my brain developed. Even though I was taught nothing was real on the TV, I was still influenced by its messages, whether subliminal or not. The television’s influence did not affect me in a sinister way. I would complete the messages in my head, incorporating their meanings in my own way.
At least that’s how I would comprehend and understand my viewing time. Some shows became integrated into my mind, connecting to how I was wired, while others did not. This wiring I talk about is what I was born with. The wiring in my head wasn’t completely untainted from the beginning, nor was it raw or in order compared to other brains of that era. We may think a newborn brain today is the same as it was 50, 60, or even a 1000 years ago. They are not. There was a different level of consciousness in each generation to keep it simple.
What about Life is Simple?
Although I do not have references from a thousand years ago or so, I can use my brain from 60 years ago for this reference. Differences in eras, environments, thoughts, diets, and genetics all go into the construction of a child’s mind in the womb and subsequently thereafter. Connecting to an environment of the past is often difficult, as people today might have difficulty understanding our minds in their present developmental stage. As our past is integrated and woven together, we connect to the human part of our similarities just enough to think we are the same. But we are not. Some might refer to this as a ‘generational gap,’ but it is not this either. This would be a simplistic conclusion. What about life is simple?
In any case, the instincts of my childhood innocence remained intact within my mind’s wiring. It would take time to understand, follow, and process how the television’s programming would impact my mind. Would it disrupt my childhood innocence? Or would my childhood innocence morph into sublime innocence?
Some of life’s brutality, relentless difficulties, and hard lessons could only have a positive outcome with an innocent mind. Looking back, I can see that my mind was rooted in sublime innocence. It would have to be founded in this way in order to decipher life’s negative experiences and traumatic content into positive outcomes. In part, looking back, love was defined as my mother choosing not to drown me when she had the chance. I interpreted love as refraining from killing me.
A positive outcome from such a traumatic background could only be derived from or delivered within the bounds of sublime innocence within the wiring of my brain. This wiring protected my mind from external forces, including the evil influences. It was ultimately my autism that protected me as autism is how our society describes the type of wiring I have. This wiring is considered neurodivergent, but really this is only the case because most people are wired differently. There is nothing intrinsically better in neurotypical, i.e. normal individuals. These terms of normal and different are all based on a Bell Curve. The end result was that I was wired for something different than a neurotypical person. Somebody else, under different circumstances, might come to different conclusions about their negative experiences, because they originated from different beginnings, i.e. ones that aren’t based in autistic thinking. I might sum it up as how an autistic mind thinks, processes, computes, and delivers a positive message differs significantly from what one might expect from a neurotypical onset.
Back to me as a seven year old boy sitting in front of the Curtis Mathes TV set…these are some of these shows that became my mental models. The Brady Bunch: I wanted to be an architect in real life like Mr. Brady. Lost in Space: Mr. Smith’s nervous phrase to an outer galactic alien stuck in my head, “Buy now pay later.”
The I Love Lucy Show: Lucy was very calculating, funny, even stupid, and she somehow got her way despite messing things up every time, like on the candy assembly line. Dragnet: I learned to recite the ‘Miranda Rights,’ ‘You have the right to remain silent …’ Gilligan’s Island: I wondered, would I survive on an abandoned island? The cartoon shows like Scooby-Doo (I couldn’t stomach Shaggy’s weakness and his fearful approach to life) and characters like Alice in Mel’s Diner (“Kiss my grits”) and Adam-12 (Officer Jim Reed was very beautiful in my young eyes. I want to look like him).
Life Lessons
None influenced me as much as The Andy Griffith Show, one episode in particular more than the others. Many great life lessons were formed in my head with this show, but the scene that stuck into my head the most and seemed to play out in my adult life. Although I don’t remember the names of the character who played the part, nor do I recite its accuracy, I remember its intended message. A couple was arguing on Aunt Bea’s porch. Barney tried to help them get along by encouraging them not to argue or disagree with each other. Andy’s wisdom settled the day, as he did in most of the scenes. “You see Barney,” Andy said (I’m paraphrasing), “there are couples who laugh together, play together, even fight together. Some couples get along by arguing together.” This stuck in my head most of all: ‘Some people get along by arguing together.’ As this was my takeaway, I saw my mom and dad argue, but they always settled down to get along in the end. I extended this in mind, coming to the conclusion that some people get along by talking together, learning together, and even dying together.
This was very real to me. It was how my mother and I got along. It was our not getting along that was the glue in our relationship. It was different from shows where everybody was happy-go-lucky and had no problems. I saw and took in life in a unique way. Autism or not. Life was difficult and that was okay, because I could take negative and turn it into positive. I became addicted to this way of thinking. This made sense to me and resonated as a valuable part of life’s lessons learned on the television set. How this affected my future relationships would ultimately play out in my married life, unbeknownst to me at the time.
The Thorn of a Bloom
Our marriage started on rocky ground before our marriage even started. This didn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be or that we were not a perfect match. To me it was a perfect match in more ways than one. It didn’t fit the norm, but then what is the norm? (Maybe it was more normal than my wife would ever want to admit)? Growing up in a peaceful, calm, loving environment at home didn’t exist the way I saw it on TV. I didn’t relate to that artificial calmness where everything worked out in 30 minutes or so. My interpretation of life was completely different than what I witnessed inside the console was vastly different. So I didn’t expect it in my married life. Maybe this is another example of how I turn negatives into positives. Roses blooming beneath my feet is not reality, but that doesn’t mean that reality isn’t positive.
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